At MayDay ADHD coaching, we provide the ADHD Responsivity Manual,
which consists of three primary assets:
Mindset, Knowledge and Skills
When you have these three assets, you have everything you need to
respond to and meet the needs of your ADHD child.
As parents, we want to support our children and respond to them appropriately so that they can develop into confident, capable and contributing adults. We want to "intentionally foster individuality, self-regulation and self-assertion by being attuned, supportive and acquaintance to children's special needs and demands."1 This is typically referred to as Parental Responsiveness.
In my experience as a parent, teacher and life coach, I have found that there are a series of patterns that parents of neurodiverse children fall into to prevent them being fully engaged and responsive to their children. I have been able to plot those patterns on a system that I call the Responsivity Gauge. It is a tool that measures how equipped you are to deal with the neurodiverse challenges of your child in a responsive way. There are four stages on the Responsivity Gauge, which have been outlined below.
1 - Baumrind, D. (1991). The Influence of Parenting Style on Adolescent Competence and Substance Use. J. Early Adolesc. 11, 56–95. doi: 10.1177/0272431691111004
The first mode on the Responsivity Gauge I call
Survival means that you react to challenges with an automatic, built-in response to protect you from threat and danger.
You know you are in Survival mode when:
Most days of the week you and your child have massive fights which end up with both of you yelling and/or crying.
You stay at work later, or stay in bed longer to avoid spending time with your child.
You have thought about leaving and never coming back.
Your self-care is non-existent at worst and superficial at best because you can't truly relax.
You feel threatened rather than connected to your child.
The third mode on the Responsivity Gauge I call
Struggle means that you wrestle with daily challenges while striving to raise your child into confident, capable and contributing adults.
You know you are in Struggle mode when:
You know when and where things are going to go pear shaped, but not how to prevent it.
You have a default way of dealing with your child's challenges that works in the short term, but doesn't necessarily fit with your values and ideals.
You are confident that you can face the day, but you look forward to this stage of your child's development being over.
Everything sort-of works, but you have run out of ideas and you know that it could be better.
The second mode on the Responsivity Gauge I call
Susceptibility means that you field your child's bewildering challenges individually and frantically without understanding where they come from.
You know you are in Susceptibility mode when:
You are frequently blind-sided by your child's emotional outbursts or inability to cope with situations.
You don't understand why your child behaves in particular ways and why they find simple things difficult.
You rely heavily on constant threats and bribes.
You know that your child has sensory and self-regulation needs but don't know how to meet those needs, let alone get them to recognise when they are out of kilter.
The final mode on the Responsivity Gauge I call
Sage means that you handle challenges with a clear, calm mind, positive emotions and confidence in what you are doing.
You know you are in Sage when:
You identify and dismiss your own triggers when responding to your child.
When things go wrong, you empathise with your child at that moment.
You explore routines and predictable struggles that aren't working without judgement and innovate possible solutions so that they become easier.
You confidently apply your values to the way you are raising your child.
You and your child are on the same team when confronting challenges and you are both motivated to succeed together.
In order to make it to the fourth mode, Sage, you need to be able to bridge this gap between Survival and Sage, and there is only one way I have ever seen to be able to bridge that gap and make it to Sage, and that's with a concept that I call the ADHD Responsivity Manual. Before I explain the ADHD Responsivity Manual, can you pinpoint whereabouts you are on the Responsivity Gauge? Please note: you may move between the first three modes of the Responsivity Gauge as you are influenced by external factors.
Your mind is your best friend. But it can also be your worst enemy. Your mind is constantly sabotaging your potential for both performance and happiness. All of your negative emotions, including stress, anger and anxiety, are the result of self-sabotage. Our breakthrough, research-based tools strengthen the part of your brain that serves you and quiet the part that sabotages you. You handle life’s challenges with a more positive mindset, and less stress.
We call this mental fitness.
Most attempts at positive change fail because we stop at insight and don’t build habits. Sustained change towards a more positive mind requires laying down neural pathways to form new habits through consistent daily practice. And that’s what our PQ® Program empowers you to do.
Over 6 intensive weeks, you will have
* Weekly hour-long video delivers deep experiential exploration of the week’s focus. You’ll feel inspired and energised to practice during the week in order to sustain the benefits experienced during the video sessions
* 15 minutes/day of app-guided practice enables you to establish mental muscles (neural pathways). These exercises are bite-sized to fit your busy schedule and customised based on how you self-sabotage.
* You’ll feel motivated through instant feedback on exactly how much progress you’re making towards building the 3 core muscles of mental fitness. Brain rewiring may be visible in MRI imaging within 8 weeks.
* We help you establish a support and accountability group with other program participants. Research has shown this to be a critical success factor for establishing lasting new positive habits of the mind.
Imagine yourself able to remain calm, clear headed, stress-free, and positive even in the midst of handling life’s greatest challenges. What becomes possible for you, in achievement, in peace of mind and wellness, and in your relationships? Make a commitment now to boost your mental fitness.
Knowledge is power, and it explains so much.
Come back soon to find this exciting online course that will explain so much of your child to you, and give you an abundance of strategies and ideas to overcome the challenges you are facing.
WHAT RESEARCH SAYSS
Find out how ADHD affects the Body, Brain, Heart and Spirit in this unique overview designed specially for adults who are raising children with ADHD.
Problem solving skills are an integral component of dealing with the parenting and teaching challenges that we all face.
Through these 1:1 coaching sessions, you will become accustomed to using a series of steps when facing a challenging ongoing situation. Including:
* Identifying and calming your emotional triggers and sabotaging internal dialogue that are compounding the situation.
* Identifying the potential benefits from what is happening
* Empathising with all of the people involved.
* Exploring what is occurring without blame and judgement interfering.
* Innovating a range of potential strategies and solutions.
* Navigating through the solutions to identify that most important elements.
* Activating the solutions with a solid plan in place.
These steps are based on the Positive Intelligence course material and the superpowers that everyone has. Developing them specifically to align to your core fundamental parenting and teaching values.
Imagine having a plan that you believe in, that sits with your values, and guides you what to do through the next meltdown, frustration or surprise that your youth throws at you.
Imagine yourself able to remain calm, clear headed, stress-free, and positive even in the midst of handling life’s greatest challenges - the children in your life.