Creating Routines that Stick: Building Structure for Success

Ever feel like your life's a bit of a whirlwind? Keys perpetually lost, appointments missed, and to-do lists that seem to multiply overnight? If you're nodding along, especially if you or someone you care about has ADHD, you're not alone. One of the biggest challenges for those with ADHD is establishing and maintaining routines. It's not about a lack of willpower; it's rooted in the way the ADHD brain is wired. But here's the good news: routines are achievable, and they can be absolute game-changers for creating structure and success.

Think of routines as the scaffolding that helps us navigate our day. They provide a framework, reducing the mental load of constant decision-making and freeing up cognitive resources for what truly matters. And in this blog post, we're not just talking about any routines; we're talking about routines that stick. We'll explore practical, evidence-based strategies, and we'll also tap into the power of Positive Intelligence – a fascinating concept that can help us overcome the internal obstacles that often derail our best-laid plans.

So, whether you're a seasoned ADHD warrior or just beginning to explore the world of neurodiversity, get ready to discover how to build routines that bring more calm, focus, and accomplishment into your life.

Understanding the ADHD Brain

It's important to acknowledge upfront that difficulties with routines aren't a personal failing. The ADHD brain is simply wired differently. Executive functions, which are the cognitive skills that help us plan, organise, manage time, and regulate impulses, are often impaired in individuals with ADHD. This can lead to challenges with:

• Time management: a common symptom of ADHD is "time blindness," a difficulty perceiving and tracking time. This makes it hard to estimate how long tasks will take and to stick to schedules.

• Task initiation: getting started on tasks can feel overwhelming. Even simple tasks can seem insurmountable.

• Organisation: keeping track of belongings, papers, and commitments can be a daily struggle.

• Working memory: holding information in mind to complete tasks is often impaired, making multi-step routines difficult to follow.

• Impulse control: acting without thinking can disrupt routines and lead to poor choices.

Essentially, it's not that people with ADHD can't do these things; it's that they often struggle to do them consistently. Think of it like this: the ability to perform a task is there, but the execution is where the challenge lies. This is where routines become so important. They act as external support, providing the structure that the ADHD brain needs to stay on track.

While it's essential to acknowledge the challenges, it's equally important to recognise the strengths of the ADHD brain. People with ADHD are often creative, spontaneous, energetic, and resilient. The key is to build routines that harness these strengths. For example:

• If you're creative, build flexibility into your routine to allow for spontaneous bursts of inspiration.

• If you're energetic, schedule physical activity into your day.

• If you're a "big picture" thinker, break down routines into smaller, manageable steps.

The Power of Positive Intelligence

Now, let's introduce a concept that might be new to you but can be incredibly helpful: Positive Intelligence (PQ). PQ, developed by Shirzad Chamine, isn't specifically about ADHD, but it provides a powerful framework for understanding why we all, ADHD or not, struggle to consistently achieve our goals.

Why is this relevant to ADHD? It's because individuals with ADHD often face challenges not just with knowing what to do, but with consistently doing it. Positive Intelligence helps us understand the internal obstacles that get in the way, offering tools to cultivate a more positive and resilient mindset.

At its core, PQ suggests that we all have two competing forces within us: Saboteurs and the Sage.

• Saboteurs: These are the negative internal voices that undermine us. They create stress, self-doubt, and limit our potential. The 10 Saboteurs are:

  • The Judge: Criticises ourselves and others.

  • The Controller: Needs to be in charge and can create anxiety when they aren't.

  • The Stickler: Is a perfectionist and can be very critical of themselves and others.

  • The Avoider: Avoids difficult situations and conversations.

  • The Pleaser: Seeks external validation and struggles to say no.

  • The Hyper-Rational: Focuses exclusively on logic and dismisses emotions.

  • The Hyper-Achiever: Is dependent on constant achievement and external success.

  • The Hyper-Vigilant: Experiences constant anxiety and worry.

  • The Restless: Is always seeking novelty and avoids being still.

  • The Victim: Is always negative and pessimistic.

    For someone with ADHD, these Saboteurs can be particularly damaging, exacerbating existing challenges with self-regulation and focus. For instance, the Procrastinator (which is a form of the Avoider) can feed into the difficulties with task initiation, creating a vicious cycle of avoidance and guilt.

• The Sage: This is our inner wisdom and source of positive mental fitness. The Sage operates through five primary powers:

  • Empathise: With yourself and others, showing compassion and understanding.

  • Explore: Being curious and open-minded, seeking new perspectives.

  • Innovate: Thinking outside the box and generating creative solutions.

  • Navigate: Aligning with your values and choosing the best course of action.

  • Activate: Taking focused action without the interference of Saboteurs.

    When we access our Sage, we experience calm, clarity, focus, courage, and creativity. The Sage allows us to handle challenges with grace and resilience. It's about shifting our mindset from one of negativity and self-sabotage to one of positivity and empowerment.

• Self-Command: This is the crucial skill that allows us to shift from our Saboteur brain to our Sage brain. It involves simple techniques to quieten the Saboteurs and activate the Sage's powers. Think of it as the "muscle" that strengthens our mental fitness.

Developing your Sage and strengthening your Self-Command involves consistent practice. This is particularly important for individuals with ADHD, as it provides tools to manage internal resistance, build self-compassion, and sustain motivation when establishing routines. It complements the external strategies by fostering a more resilient and positive mindset.

Practical Strategies for Creating Routines

Here's the thing: there's no one-size-fits-all approach to routines, especially with ADHD. What works for one person might be a complete disaster for another. It's about experimenting, adapting, and finding what clicks with your unique brain. But here are some evidence-based strategies to get you started:

Start Small: This is crucial for many. Don't try to overhaul your entire life overnight. That's often a recipe for burnout, especially for an ADHD brain that can get easily overwhelmed. Instead, pick one or two small routines to begin with. Maybe it's packing your bag the night before or setting a timer for 5 minutes to tidy up one specific area. Once those become habit, you can gradually add more. However, some individuals with ADHD find that a more comprehensive, upfront overhaul works better for them. This approach can reduce decision fatigue by establishing a complete system from the outset. It's important to be self-aware and recognise what pattern works best for you.

Visual Schedules: The ADHD brain often responds really well to visual cues. Think checklists, planners, whiteboards, or even apps. Visual schedules help to:

Break down tasks into smaller steps.

Provide a clear sequence of actions.

Offer a sense of accomplishment as you tick things off.

Reduce reliance on working memory.

Experiment with different formats to see what works best for you. Some people prefer paper planners, while others thrive on digital tools.

Time Blocking: Time blocking involves allocating specific chunks of time for specific tasks. Instead of just having "work on project," you'd schedule "work on project from 9 am to 11 am." This provides structure and helps to combat time blindness.

Body Doubling: This is a surprisingly effective strategy for many people with ADHD. It simply involves having someone else present while you're trying to focus on a task. It could be a friend, family member, or even working in a café. The other person doesn't even have to be actively involved; their presence alone can provide a sense of focus and accountability.

Mindfulness and Breaks: It might seem counterintuitive, but scheduling breaks and incorporating mindfulness can actually improve focus and productivity. The ADHD brain can get easily fatigued, so regular breaks are essential to prevent burnout. Mindfulness, even for just a few minutes a day, can help improve attention and emotional regulation.

Harnessing Technology: There's a plethora of apps and tools designed to help with reminders, task management, and habit tracking. Explore what's available and find what suits your needs. Some popular options include:

• Reminder apps (e.g., Google Reminders, Apple Reminders)

• Task management apps (e.g., Todoist, Trello)

• Habit tracking apps (e.g., Habitica, Streaks)

Habit Stacking: This involves linking a new habit to an existing one. For example, if you always have a cup of tea in the afternoon, you could link the new habit of taking your medication to that routine. This creates a strong cue for the new action, making it easier to remember and follow through.

Using Cues: Cues can be powerful triggers for routines. This could involve:

• Visual cues: Like placing your gym clothes in a visible spot to remind you to exercise.

• Auditory cues: Like setting an alarm or playing a specific song to signal the start of a routine.

• Environmental cues: Like only allowing yourself to check social media in a specific location.

Experiment to find cues that work effectively for you.

Linking Similar Routines: This strategy involves grouping related routines together. For example, you could create a "morning routine" that includes having breakfast and doing a quick tidy-up. This creates a sense of flow and makes it easier to remember multiple tasks.

Maintaining and Adapting Routines

Here's the truth: even the best-laid routines will face challenges. Life throws curveballs, motivation wanes, and the ADHD brain can get bored easily. So, it's crucial to build in strategies for maintaining and adapting your routines.

• Expect Challenges: This is perhaps the most important point. Don't expect perfection. There will be days when you fall off the wagon. That's normal. The key is to not get discouraged and to get back on track as quickly as possible. Self-compassion is crucial here. As Vinh Giang would say, "It's not about never falling down, it's about getting up one more time than you fall."

• Flexibility is Key: Rigidity is the enemy of sustainability, especially with ADHD. Your routines need to be flexible enough to accommodate unexpected events and changes in your energy levels. Build in some wiggle room.

• Regular Review: Schedule regular check-ins with yourself to review your routines. Are they still working? Are they still relevant? Do they need to be tweaked or adjusted? This could be a weekly or monthly review, depending on your needs.

• Celebrate Successes: Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. This reinforces positive behaviour and keeps you motivated. Remember that small wins add up to big changes over time.

• Seek Support: Don't be afraid to seek support from friends, family, or a professional. An accountability partner can be incredibly helpful in staying on track.

• Embrace Iteration: Think of routine-building as an iterative process. It's not about creating the perfect system from the outset, but about continuously refining and improving your routines over time.

Applying Strategies: Sample Scenarios

Scenario 1: The Time-Blind Student

Matt, a friendly and outgoing 20-year-old engineering student and part-time barista, was constantly battling the chaos of his schedule. Juggling lectures, lab sessions, shifts at the local café, and a desire to connect with friends, he often felt overwhelmed and behind. Assignments loomed, deadlines were frequently missed, and his bank account often dwindled due to impulsive spending. Yet, beneath this disorganisation lay a technically minded young man, eager to learn and succeed.

Determined to gain control of his time, Matt decided to implement time blocking. He began using a digital calendar to schedule specific slots for studying, working, socialising, and even for relaxation. Drawing inspiration from strategies discussed in workshops like "Taming the Time Thief: ADHD and Time Management Solutions," he also set alarms on his phone to remind him of upcoming tasks and deadlines. To better manage his finances, he created a budget and used a spending tracker app on his phone.

Gradually, Matt's sense of time and organisation improved. He started submitting assignments on time, arrived at his café shifts prepared, and even managed to save some money. He felt less stressed and more in control of his life.

Scenario 2: The Overwhelmed Parent

Karen, a patient and nurturing 42-year-old primary school teacher and mother of two, often felt overwhelmed by the competing demands of her job and family. Juggling lesson planning, grading papers, school events, household chores, and caring for her 10-year-old child with ADHD, she struggled to keep track of everything. Paperwork piled up, appointments were forgotten, and she often felt guilty about not being able to give her best to everyone. Yet, beneath this overwhelm lay a creative and empathetic woman, dedicated to her students and her family.

Determined to find more balance, Karen decided to implement time blocking and task batching. At work, she scheduled specific times for lesson planning, grading, and responding to emails. At home, she batched errands and household chores, dedicating specific days for grocery shopping, laundry, and paying bills. Drawing inspiration from workshops like "From Chaos to Completion: Helping Your Child with ADHD Get Things Done", she also created a family calendar to keep track of everyone's activities and appointments.

Gradually, Karen felt more organised and in control. She was able to meet deadlines at work, keep up with household tasks, and feel more present with her children. Her stress levels decreased, and she experienced a greater sense of calm and accomplishment.

Scenario 3: The Creative Professional

Kim, a highly creative and enthusiastic 24-year-old junior architect, had a reputation for innovative designs but often struggled to meet deadlines and follow through on projects. His impulsivity and difficulty with attention to detail sometimes led to errors in his work, and he frequently interrupted colleagues in meetings. Despite his talent and quick learning ability, he felt frustrated by his inconsistent performance and feared career stagnation.

Determined to improve his focus and productivity, Kim decided to implement time blocking and mindfulness techniques. He scheduled specific blocks of time for design work, meetings, and administrative tasks, and he used mindfulness apps to practice focusing his attention and managing his impulsivity.

Gradually, Kim's performance at work became more consistent. He produced high-quality designs, met deadlines, and collaborated more effectively with colleagues. His confidence grew, and he felt more fulfilled in his career.

Conclusion

Routines are not a magic bullet, but they are a powerful tool for creating structure, reducing overwhelm, and fostering success for individuals with ADHD. By understanding the unique challenges and strengths of the ADHD brain, embracing the principles of Positive Intelligence, and implementing practical strategies, you can build routines that work for you, not against you.

Remember, it's a journey of continuous learning and adaptation. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and don't be afraid to seek support when needed. You have the potential to create a life that is both productive and fulfilling.

To take the next step on your journey:

• Consider attending a workshop to deepen your understanding of ADHD and learn more practical strategies.

• Explore the resources available online and in your community.

• Connect with others for support and encouragement:

  • Parents of Children and Teens with ADHD can join our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/3698908506997055

  • All others are welcome to join our general Canberra ADHD Community group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1231559331826916